Wish Sticks

from 10 Years by an Unkindness

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lyrics

I cut back one drug and excess on another
and it's always by myself
but when my friends are here to distract me from me,
it usually seems to help
but I guess that's just as well
that I'm here all by myself
and nothing seems to help
when my thoughts reside in Hell

You know you control me
and you speak through my head from your metal lips
and you'll tell me what you think might help myself
I thought you might know me
of course, not quite entirely
but just enough to know I really needed your help

and the stone might break the glass
and we'll wait for it to pass
just like snow-covered grass
but I think it's time to grasp
this motivation that I lack

and I'll play the victim
and I'll play the mediator
because that's how I solved my problems as a child
and you'll be complaining
how my problems are not what I thought they were
and I'll try my very best to force a smile

and I'll think the night away. Yeah, I'll think the night away
because once I'm in my head, I can't escape
so I'll drink the night away. Yeah, I'll drink the night away
and I'll wonder if I'll ever be okay

and I know it sounds so blue
but I wouldn't be here without you.

I'll keep telling myself I won't kill myself just as long as I have my fingers,
but my wishes, oh, they outweigh my wish sticks.
You knew all too well I wouldn't take care of myself, but you could've leaded the right direction,
and it shows that that was something I was missing.
Now you want me dead so get out of my head. It was you that kept me breathing.
I was confident that you were here to stay.
Now I'll click refresh 'til my face turns red and I'm bleeding out my eyelids
just hoping,
just wishing,
for change.

credits

from 10 Years, released September 28, 2020
Music and Lyrics written by Adam Johnston
Produced by Adam Johnston
Vocals, Piano, Drums, Cello: Adam Johnston

Recorded at Monarch Studios: monarchstudios.com
Audio Engineers: Olivia Quan, Scot Wallace, Alex Penney
Mastering: Andrew Spindor www.railtownmastering.com

Album art by Lovisa Morin: twitter.com/LovisaArt

Special Thanks: Chris Stein, Debbie Harry, Fox Amoore, Pepper Coyote, my friends and family

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